Device of the fidgets
by Tkorgkhachu
Summary: So i wrote this when i was really depressed and angsty so... its pretty heart wrenching (dont let the first chapter fool you that shit goes down hill real fast) so um enjoy i guess.
1. chapter 1

Tony was done. He was so done, that he watched a mixture of strawberry shortcake and my little pony all night whilst incredibly drunk. It didn't bother him at all that he knew both theme songs by fucking heart and all the characters by name. Maybe he was just going through a phase of not giving a fuck or maybe this was just how things had to be now. He didn't know. What he did know, was that the one person on the fucking earth who he had trusted left him for the man who killed his parents. So, he drowned his pain in bad children shows and liquor. Was it mature? No, but Tony didn't want to be. He wanted to be wild and incompetent. Therefore, when he was forced to go to an avengers meeting, he wasn't planning on taking it seriously.

He slumped in his chair, slightly buzzed and extremely annoyed. He huffed as the rest of his team gave him concerned glances. All he wanted was to be left alone. He pulled out his fidget spinner halfway through Fury's lame presentation. He found himself lost in the way the device spun, the way the colours of the wings blended together in the motion.

"Tony, would you like to add to that? "Fury asked, placing his hands on his hips like an angry mother. Tony rolled his eyes, raised his eyebrows and put his spinner down.

"It sounds fucking stupid." Tony sighed, not looking away from his spinner. He could practically feel Steve roll his eyes. Tony couldn't give less of a shit than a constipated person that Mr. American values had a problem with his attitude. Steve was a dickhead. A dickhead to which Tony had no concerns for. Tony wondered how many times Steve and Bucky had fucked since they found each other. He growled in disgust.

"You better watch yourself Stark." Fury threatened, and Tony rolled his eyes. God, he had rolled his eyes so much in the past couple weeks that he was shocked they hadn't fallen out yet. Tony wasn't sure what that Fury had over him that he needed to 'watch him self'. He was the brains, he created a lot of if not all of the shit shield used. He also housed the team, even though he didn't want to. Only one name came to mind when Tony asked himself who was the real one, who should be careful in their behaviour, a name that Tony didn't care to think about.

"What is that device? " Thor asked, pointing to the spinner.

"It's called a fidget spinner. It helps people with ADHD or when you find yourself in the same room as a, well for the lack of better words, a whore."

"Christ, Tony, at least be a man and insult me to my face."

"Natasha, could you please tell you-know-who that I wish he could get pregnant so that, his bastard child could rip him into two when he gives birth?"

"Hate to break it to you but, that will never happen." Steve growled.

"Oh please, with how much you like it raw?" Tony snorted.

"Okay moving on." Fury said, his voice showing he was not too happy to hear about the topic at hand.

"Yeah, Steve knows a lot about that."

"Fuck you, Tony!"

"No thanks. I don't feel like catching an STD and, that's coming from me!"

"Back to the matter at hand, " Fury cut in again, going back to discussing something about terrorist organisations. Tony wasn't listening, he was just thinking about the hate he saw in Steve's icy blue eyes. What was he mad at? Steve didn't deserve to be upset. Tony did. Tony pulled out his phone, looking at his newest Pinterest board. It had become depressing since he and Steve broke up. It used to have cool ideas for a wedding that Tony had wanted to happen, though, he never got to propose. Now, all there was Mandela conspiracy theories and some floor tile splotches. He had never and, still didn't have the desire to change the towers bathroom floors but, he was bored. He would go to his workshop but that was where everyone expected him to go. He didn't want to be bothered so, he locked himself in his bathroom and Pinterested the fuck out of his time. When did he become such a bitter ex-housewife? Oh right, when Steve realised he wanted something better. Tony, though he wanted to deny it, spent countless hours trying to figure out what Bucky had that he didn't. He wasn't bad looking, but neither was Tony. However, Bucky didn't look as old as Tony. Was that it? Had Tony grown too old for Steve? He glared at his phone from that thought. He was old but, it was a bit rude to dump someone over something so superficial as that.

"OK, that seems to be everything. I'll tell you if I get any more information." Fury concluded, dismissing everyone and making his way out of the room. Tony was the first to get up and, he practically ran to the door. He wanted to get the hell out of there as fast as possible.

"Damn it, Fury." Tony muttered. They were locked in.


	2. Chapter 2

Tony looked at his watch. Ah, as he expected, it's time to start heavily drinking. He walked around the room, staring at the ceiling as he tried to remember where he buried his hidden treasure. All the other five pairs of eyes in the room were watching him, their faces holding confused expressions. Tony smirked under their glances as he located the right tile.

"What are doing Tony?" Bruce asked for everyone else.

"Hey can you hand me that chair?" Tony returned, ignoring Bruce's query.

"Tony," Bruce started as he gave Tony the chair. "Why are you removing the ceiling?"

"I hid liquor in here in case this sort of thing ever happened." Tony answered nonchalantly, pulling out bottles of vodka. Everyone rolled their eyes. Tony shrugged it off, continuing his journey to the mini fridge in the corner of the room.

"God, Tony, you piss off Fury that much that you knew he would eventually lock you in here?" Steve scuffed, shaking his head. Tony didn't answer, just simply nodded his head, getting his daily take-away lunch from the miniature cooling machine. Tony was sure if he opened his mouth nothing but rude remarks would come out, and that wouldn't get them out any sooner. He was surprised Fury cared enough about him that he would pull something like this to bring everyone together. No, he didn't but he couldn't have his war machines bickering. How would they kill the 'bad guys' if they were too busy trying to kill each other. Tony was done with the heroism bullshit. He was done stopping somebody from causing disaster just to cause it himself. He still couldn't figure out whether the accords were what changed his mind so drastically or Steve, probably both. The accords made him start questioning what he was doing, but Steve was the one who made him loath it. Like they say, once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive.

"Why do you have food in here?" Steve questioned. Tony gave him a sour smile.

"I have been spending my lunches for the past week or so in here." Tony explained.

"Why?"

"Well, being in the same building as your ex boyfriend and his new lover whilst they have sexual intercourse really takes a toll on one's appetite."

"Okay, that's it. Everybody sit in a circle. I can't take it anymore. I want whatever has you too so upset dealt with. I swear to god, Tony, if I miss Dance Moms because of your spiteful ass I will give you something to really mope about." Natasha ordered, her Russian accent making a day view. Everyone did as she said; knowing her accent only came out when she was ready to end a bitch. Natasha eyed the alcohol, which Tony had left on the table along with his food, and got an idea.

"Okay, we're going to play a fun game of truth or dare." She announced, causing most of the avengers to cheer. Thor furrowed his eye brows, unsure to what this game of "Truth and the Dare" entailed and what made it so fun.

"I'll start, but first the rules. If you don't want to tell the truth about a question or do whatever your dare is then, you have to take a chug of vodka." Natasha squeezed into the circle next to Clint, putting the alcohol in the middle. Everyone nodded, except Tony and Steve, who glared at each other. The plot was about to get thicker than a bear in the winter.

"Bruce, truth or dare?"

"Um, truth."

"Does your penis grow when you turn into the hulk?" Natasha asked, with a straight face, whilst everyone laughed.

"I have always wondered about that…" Tony chimed in.

"Yes, every part of me grows…" Bruce answered, rubbing the back of his neck. A scarlet colour had exploded across his cheeks. "Thor, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to sing a song by cupcakKe."

"You want me to sing a song of a dessert?"

"No, cupcakke with two k's." Bruce explained, getting slightly frustrated as he was met with confused glances. "Seriously, nobody knows who cupcakKe is?"

"I do, I'm just a bit confused to how you know who she is…" Tony said. He gave Bruce the look a mother would give her son after she just caught him masturbating.

"Are we still talking about the pastry?" Thor asked.

"No, the extra K is what makes the difference between a sexually aggressive female rapper and a frosted pastry."

"Oh, well I do not know any of her songs." Thor said, grabbing some vodka. He chug half the bottle like it was water.

"Damn, Thor, you're about as thirsty as Steve." Tony giggled.

"Speaking of the captain of Americans, Tony, I dare you to kiss Steve."

"No way in hell." Tony exclaimed, waving off the bottle Thor tried to hand him.

"You have to drink Tony."

"No, Thor, you have to ask me truth or dare."

"Oh, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"I dare you to kiss Steven."

"Goddamn it Thor that's not how this works!"

"Stop being female genitalia and connect lips with Steve."

"Tony, just kiss me." Steve said, clearly exasperated as well.

"No."

"Why do you hate me so much?"

"You cheated on me with your long lost fuck buddy THEN, left me for him."

"For god's sake tony, it was one kiss."

"Have you done more than kiss him since then?" Tony asked, barely above a whisper. His eyes were glued to the bottle in front of him. He knew the answer, for fuck's sake he heard the answer every night. Steve swallowed uncomfortably. He broke up with Tony, which in the moment didn't seem like a big deal. He never thought about how hurt Tony must be. He was too busy with Bucky to notice Tony wasn't taking the break up well.

"Yeah. We have."

"Then you have your answer."

"Tony, I never-"

"You never thought how upset it made me, and how disrespectful the act of fucking your new boyfriend in MY home was? You may be ignorant about movie references but what you did being considered rude isn't new news.

"I'm sorry, Tony. If I could make it up to you…"

"You can't. You really can't. So, I guess I should just get over it. If things aren't going to change then I better move on." Tony said, fiddling with the cap to a vodka bottle. "Okay, everything is resolved, you can release us now." Tony screamed to the cameras in the corners of the ceiling.

"No, it isn't. Tony, you shouldn't have to move on because I'm being a fucking idiot." Steve said. He crawled over and hugged Tony, who didn't move. Natasha heard the door click, and she got up. She dusted off her pant, grabbing some whisky, because you can't watch Dance Moms without drinking every time drama happens.

"Glad I could help, but Dance Moms is on in ten minutes." Natasha said, walking out. All the Avengers slowly started exiting the room, leaving Steve and Tony alone.

"You should get back to Bucky, he's probably waiting for you." Tony said, looking at his lap.

"I'm going to fix this, Tony. I promise." Steve whispered.


End file.
